Wa alaykum assalaam sister

It is very sad to hear that your husband has not been behaving in accordance with shariah (Islamic law). I hope and pray that Allah guide him aright, aameen.

Few important steps to take:

1. Arbitration: The best way to resolve this is to arrange an arbitration session between you and your husband, in the presence of a respected local scholar or neutral elder. You should calmly discuss what the problems are and agree on a constructive way forward.

Allah Most High has said, ?If a woman fears ill treatment from her husband, or desertion, it is no sin for them twain if they make terms of peace between themselves. Peace is better. But greed has been made present in the minds (of humans). If you do good and keep from evil, lo! Allah is ever informed of what you do.? (4:128)

You have every right to demand respect and dignified treatment, and freedom from any form of abuse. Thus, he must promise this. At the same time, you too must do your utmost to be a good and pleasing wife. This is the only way for a successful marriage.

2. Self Inspection & repentance: Analyse where you fall short and repent to Allaah with sincerity. If you have violated the right of any fellow human being, expiate for it.

3. Patience: Remember patience is very important tool for believers. You must be aware that whatever calamity befalls us, there is a reason behind it. Either it is a divine way of purifying us, or elevating our status; or punishment to bring us back on track and save us from the trials of the day of Judgement.

4. Supplication: Implore Allah with sincerity and submission. Allaah responds to invocations.